Motivation and Mentorship: The 5 practices that take a difference

And how they align well with the Science of Motivation

In a nutshell:
Great mentors balance challenge and support to motivate young people effectively.
Research-backed mentor-mindset practices—Transparency, Questioning, Stress Coaching, Purpose, and Belonging—align with Self-Determination Theory, fostering competence, autonomy, purpose, and relatedness.

What makes a great mentor?

In my last blogpost I listed 3 mentoring mental models that supported this - you need to find the sweet spot that lies somewhere between high standards / challenging work and providing meaningful support / care.

David Yaeger’s research in 10 to 25 identifies five mentor-mindset practices that align with key motivation principles. As both a parent and educator, I found these insights valuable and wanted to document them here.

5 Mentor-mindset practices

Here are the 5 practices that he talks about

1. Transparency: Clearly communicate your intentions and the reasons behind your actions. This openness helps build trust and ensures that young people understand that feedback and guidance are meant to support their growth

2. Questioning: Instead of dictating solutions, ask thoughtful questions that encourage young individuals to think critically and develop their problem-solving skills. This approach fosters autonomy and respects their capacity to contribute meaningfully.

3. Managing Stress: Help young people reframe stress as a natural and potentially beneficial part of growth. By guiding them to view challenges as opportunities rather than threats, you can enhance their resilience and motivation.

4. Purpose: Assist young individuals in finding and connecting with a sense of purpose. When they see how their efforts align with broader, meaningful goals, they are more likely to stay engaged and motivated.

5. Belonging: Create an inclusive environment where young people feel valued and accepted. A strong sense of belonging boosts their confidence and encourages active participation.

Mentor Mindset Practices align well with the research on Motivation

What I noticed was that these aligned well with research on ‘Motivation’.

At its core, mentoring is about motivating young people to grow and take action. Research in motivation—specifically Self-Determination Theory—shows that people thrive when they have purpose, competence, autonomy, and strong relationships. Great mentors create environments that cultivate these needs.I wrote about this 2 years ago in this blogpost - Nobody wants to be a robot: Motivating Teachers and Students.

Here is how they align:

The five mentor-mindset practices from 10 to 25 align closely with Self-Determination Theory (SDT), which identifies four key drivers of motivation: Relatedness, Purpose, Competence, and Autonomy. Here’s how each practice supports these outcomes:

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1. Belonging → Supports Relatedness

• Why? People thrive when they feel connected, valued, and part of a community.

• Belonging fosters trust, emotional security, and engagement, helping young people feel safe to take risks and participate actively.

• Mentors who create inclusive environments make individuals feel like they truly matter.

2. Purpose → Supports Purpose

• Why? People are more motivated when they understand how their work contributes to a bigger goal.

• Helping young people connect their actions to meaningful outcomes enhances engagement and persistence.

• A strong sense of purpose fuels long-term motivation, making challenges feel worthwhile.

3. Transparency & Managing Stress → Support Competence

Transparency → Builds Competence

• Why? Clear expectations and reasoning help individuals understand what success looks like and how to improve.

• When mentors explain why feedback or challenges exist, young people feel empowered rather than discouraged.

Managing Stress → Reinforces Competence

• Why? Stress can either hinder or enhance performance depending on how it’s framed.

• Teaching young people to view stress as a tool for growth helps them persist through challenges instead of shutting down.

• Mentors who normalize struggle build resilience and confidence in their mentees.

4. Questioning → Supports Autonomy

• Why? People feel more motivated when they have control over their decisions and learning process.

• Instead of providing answers, asking thoughtful questions encourages independent thinking and ownership.

• This approach fosters self-reliance, curiosity, and problem-solving, helping young people take responsibility for their growth.

This makes great sense to me because as a mentor your core roles are to drive motivation and competence.

Great mentors balance challenge and support, and at the core of their work is motivation. By focusing on these five mentor-mindset practices, we can create an environment where young people thrive—not just in competence, but in purpose and confidence.

I took away one particular tip from the ‘stress’ section that I will be applying to my own life, more on that in my next blog post!